1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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