Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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