i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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