If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
vagina is talking i cant
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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