Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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