I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
