They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
