***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That accounts for only three of the penises
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
