i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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