How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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