Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
