Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
