I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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