He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
