What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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