Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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