i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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