Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
