Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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