his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We have so much sex to catch up on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
