Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
