walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
