His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
