My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He did a backflip because drugs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize