when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
