from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
