Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
