So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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