So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
