your thong is hanging out like whoa
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
