i would punch a child for taco bell
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize