If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
