Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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