dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
