I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
