please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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