marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
