His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
