I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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