I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Randomize