i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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