Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
