i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
