did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
