Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
