foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
