i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize