guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize