just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
