Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
