I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
