Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
