she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
