my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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