is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
