Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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