She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Are my feet made of real feet?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
