the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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