I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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