Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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