You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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