so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
