the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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