So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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