I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
