I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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