Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
