i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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