your thong is hanging out like whoa
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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