the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
