We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
