It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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