You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
