my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
