drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
id be glad to
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
